Kim Gentes

Reading the book "Learning to Suffer Well" was something of a personal earthquake for me, not just through the reading of the book, but through the workbook style exercises and weekly meetings recommended with a trusted friend. In the combination of all three (reading, workbook exercises and meeting with a friend) the work turned up some profound truth and good application. The scriptural understanding of suffering, as a valid component within the differentiated and holistic Christian life, becomes apparent. What I had only intuited in the nuance of scripture reading before was brought to full light- Jesus, the disciples, and most heroes of the faith suffered as part of their lives, and it was part of God's will that they did so.

It became clear that my attempts to avoid suffering only weakened my growth and had not saved me any pain.  As I began to delve into the devotions and exercises, I saw Christ fully aware of suffering, yet not distant. Acknowledging the pain, but not abandoning me to it.  In my theology before taking reading this book, I realized that what I had feared was not suffering itself but the isolation of believing it was an outward sign of God's abandonment.

But the closer I delved into the reality that my past, present and future sufferings may not only be used by God, but they may be God's plan for change (at times) in my life, I began to see a God who never leaves or forsakes me. A God who is thoroughly aware of our loss, has experienced it personally (in Christ) and joins with us both during our "death" and as the change agent in our resurrection through the other side of the pain. But beyond the "knowledge" of God's presence with us through the pain of suffering, "Learning to Suffer Well" holds a very practical key to allow for change in a persons actual life.

Peter Fitch gives a progressive understanding of the qualities of the follower of Jesus who has come to grasp what true suffering is. He says it this way:

The difference is something like this: a person with perseverance knows that he or she will survive through difficulty; a person with character, already confident about perseverance, generally makes the decision to do something constructive in the midst of the trial.[1]

and

If the person with perseverance may be characterised as "hanging on", and the person with character may be seen as getting to work in the midst of the trial to help speed its conclusion, the person with hope must be seen as one who remains cheerful and at peace, praising God right through the difficulty...In this way, hope is related to faith. Instead of allowing the heart to fall into despondency at the onset of the trial, hope remembers the power and love of God and turns expectantly toward Him.[2]

What is grasped here is worth re-iterating. It is, quite simply, that we have three laudable plateaus of faith through suffering: perseverance, character and hope. Perseverance knows they will survive through the suffering; character decides to grow through the suffering; and hope remember God's power and love and turns to Him for it.

Through reading "Learning to Suffer Well", I have come to the real belief that Paul's admonition is as pertinent to suffering in my life as it is to every believer:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.(Romans 8:28)

This is an excellent book! I highly recommend it!

Amazon Book Link: http://amzn.to/JEPXL8

Review by Kim Gentes

Footnotes:

1. Peter Fitch, "Learning to Suffer Well", (Cape Town, South Africa:Vineyard International Publishing 2000), Pg 60
2. Ibid., Pg 75

A Grief Observed is simply the journal of a man consumed with the pain of the loss of his wife to cancer. Perhaps the preeminent Christian author, scholar and philosopher  of the 20th Century, C.S Lewis scripts out his thoughts, struggles, questions and emotions during his time of grief.  He punches you with logic on one page and languishes in his own emotions on the next.  The book is not a model of how to be consistent during tragedy- quite the opposite. Lewis gives us raw, untainted pain.  And along with it, he questions the entire scope of his experience and situation- he questions the logic, questions his own capacity to be seeing clearly, even questions God with abruptness.

Reading A Grief Observed reminds me that we will always struggle with the task of reconciling our experience in the world with what we believe about God.  Lewis takes us to task for assuming that our experience hasn’t interpreted who God is completely wrong, and what we think of Him.  But he also lashes out at times to tell God just how difficult it is for the human life not to be struggling and confused. Early in the book he makes sure that we understand clearly that we (as friends/counsellors) are not the one suffering and shouldn’t pretend to be :

You can't really share someone else's weakness, or fear or pain. What you feel may be bad. It might conceivably be as bad as what the other felt, though I should distrust anyone who claimed that it was. But it would still be quite different.[1]

Lewis, eventually turns his brilliant mind on his own emotions and comprehension.  He finds that his desire to “see” something of his former wife is itself idolatrous (not in so many words).  While doing so, he clearly punches at our propensity to iconify and envision a reality that is not really real.  In his words:

Images, whether on paper or in the mind, are not important for themselves. Merely links. Take a parallel from an infinitely. . higher sphere. Tomorrow morning a priest will give me a little round, thin, cold tasteless wafer. Is it a disadvantage- is it not in some ways and advantage- that it can’t pretend in the least resemblance to that with which it unites me?

I need Christ, not something that resembles Him.[2]

The book winds down to Lewis having an evening of intense connection with the reality of his wife.  Not a vision or visit it seems, but something remarkably close that comforts him in a way.  He realizes he needs the real thing in every context saying:  “Not my idea of God, but God. Not my idea of H., but H. Yes, and also not my idea of my neighbour, but my neighbour”[3]

Wow! Taking in the reality of life, not as we perceive it erroneously to be, but accounting for the fact that they may actually be (that is - our neighbor, God, and even ourselves) something completely different than our perception has made them appear to us.  Lewis's prose is no less muted in this classic than any of his other books, it simply just bleeds with the reality of his intense pain. Beautiful.

Book Link on Amazon: A Grief Observed

Review by
Kim Gentes

[1] Grief Observed”, (New York, NY: Harper Collins 1961), Pg 13

[2] Ibid., Pg 65

[3] Ibid., Pg 67