Kim Gentes

Listen guys. This is just a bit of simple, clear advice. Your wife will be expecting something on Valentine's Day. I know, if you've forgotten and it seems too late now. But it's not.  If you planned it out and got her some flowers or chocolates or romantic dinner planned- congrats. Maybe your wife doesn't even like those things and you know specifically what makes her feel like she has been on your mind and in your heart. Awesome.

But if she tells you that she doesn't care and it really doesn't matter to her- don't believe it. The truth is, she might be saying that to let you off the hook. But in fact, she does care. She wants to be remembered on the day that the whole world is shouting about who their special valentine is. Is it "authentic" or "real" if you are giving her something on a day you are "supposed" to? That doesn't matter. That isn't even the real question. The real question is- did you think of her, and express that care and thought in a manifest way?

Some wives love the traditional gifts, others have a specific thing they might hope for that they know you already have been told. Some will drop hints.

The Yearly Plan

Normally, I'd give you some sage advice throughout the year. For example, whenever she tells you something she really likes (especially small things you'd easily forget), use your smart phone and add it to your calendar as a private event on your phone calendar (not the office one that you share). Set the reminder to a month a head of time (Jan 14). Add small items (and big ones) as she mentions them throughout the year. Once January roles around and you are reminded, decide what you can spend and collect the best items off the list that fit your budget. If you can, add something that is your surprise, not from the list. Also, check the items I list below for the Johnny-come-lately-list to see if there are good things there to consider for bigger surprises for your sweetheart. You planners will be less stressed and ready for it. You are set for the day! 

The Day Before Plan

But, it's late in the game now, and you have squat. What to do? Here are some last minute suggestions.

1. First, flowers are often unable to be delivered on busy holidays, on just a day advance. Calling your florist the day before is like shooting into the sky and hoping to hit a bird. However, some websites know guys are like this. I found FTD's site to cater to this fact. If you go to http://www.ftd.com/ put in the holiday occasion (Valentine's Day), and the date of delivery (Feb 14). It will display any items that it's florist affiliates can actually deliver the day-of.  I mention this because I often here people say that all the florists are out of stock or booked on deliveries. But since FTD draws from all the stores in its network, you can know in a jiffy if there is a chance to have delivery on that day. You can check other sites too, but from one guy to another- don't order something from the boxed flower delivery websites. The reason being- the flowers come looking lame. This may not be terrible, but if you can get fresh flowers that look great when they arrive (and don't require her to do the assembly), I think that looks much better.

2. Chocolates. I know, flowers and chocolates are standard, but like the man said "there's a reason its a cliche". The reason is- they like them. The best bet here is to know what she likes and go to the local See's or Godiva outlet and get her some quality collection of chocolates. The drug store brand might seem like a deal until she opens the box that has been on the shelf for months and its stale and powdery.

3. A truly unique meal. Again, you might think that making a reservation the day before is impossible, but it's often not. Call up Mortons, Ruth's Chris, J. Alexander's, Benihana's, or some great little local place. In Nashville we have a couple of great little places that I think are perfect for Valentines day (one called "The Yellow Porch" and "Caffe Noona"). But you will have to call restaurants to ask about reservations. Do NOT just show up hoping to get a table. Spend time today calling and you will find something. Ask colleagues that eat out a lot and you can probably find something with space that will be nice.

4. Jewelry. This one is the toughest to do mainly because it is all about her taste. There is a good chance that even if you know what she likes, the sizing or color might not be perfect. Don't be afraid, if this is your last option it can be very good. You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars to get something nice, but you need to have at least been listening to her throughout the year to know the brand, style, color and pieces that she is interested in. There are plenty of stores for jewelry, so I won't guide you there. I would only choose this option if you have a very good idea, maybe even a previous hint from her on a specific piece.

5. A night/weekend away. If you have young kids, this can be tough to pull off the day before. But if kids aren't an issue and you can take her away for a night or two, this is a nice home run. There are, like jewelry stores, a lot of options you can choose from here. Most hotels and resorts will not be having capacity problems for Valentine's Day, so anything you are interested in is likely as quick as a search on Expedia, or your favorite hotel brand website. There are always some packages in the larger hotels and these can be a nice touch. Again, the internet is your friend. Use it!

I used to be a big fan of going to the movie with my sweetheart, and of course, choosing the romantic movie to fit the bill.  I still will do this, if she wants to, but generally, the movies are so hit-and-miss you are leaving the fate of your affection in the hands of a Hollywood director. I'd make sure to have things covered on another level and let this be an "and one" to your activities for the day.

The most important thing to remember is this- she wants to know you thought about her, and did something about it. Gifts are the way this is ritualized on Valentine's Day, so don't get all pretentious about it. I hear guys all the time talking about its commercialism and such. Ya. So what? Eating is commercialised too- but you probably aren't missing a lot of meals because other people are charging you for groceries or food. Businesses will always pop up where there is a possibility for revenue. Don't ignore doing something kind for her. There are plenty of other ways to plan and make her feel special. I don't get into home solutions like baths and such. You'll have to check other web sites for more intimate suggestions.

The point is- just do something. If you haven't got a clue, call your sister (if applicable), or even a friend. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Below is a picture of a Valentine's monkey that my wife got me in 2012. It was one of those helium filled balloons. A year later, the thing still has air! It's just a picture to remind you guys to get that Valentine's Day monkey- off your back!

Go get 'em!

Kim Gentes