Times of disorientation are often precipitated by some form of change. And it is change that seems to find us at a point of weakness, one which we hadn't anticipated on being tested. A sense of entitlement comes with past successes and we are surprised by discouraging results, feeling as though it isn't fair to be challenged in our area or moment of vulnerability. I have begun to believe (through the teachings of historical writings from church leaders) that much of our facing of such troubles is, in fact, a holy fire sent from God. Not all times, but even those which are sent from the enemy are ultimately forces which God's watchful eye has allowed to come and challenge us (He works all things together for the good of those who love him).
But you know all of that. Here are two simple thoughts about asking your church community for help.
Call out to your community.
What I often find of many local churches in US/Canada is that, at its leadership, are some of the most humble and gifted people on planet Earth. I would say, though, that there might be a danger in our attempts to develop a humble ethos in an organization if we mistake North American/European social etiquette as good Christian manners or worse, Christian community. What am I saying? Ask your community for help. No doubt you've done this in some forms, but I'd encourage you to sound the call louder. There can be no possible greater ally to your vision, mission and people than your current community. Those whose lives have been transformed through your love and ministry will be personally interested in seeing the agent of such growth continue to impact others in their family, community and faith.
Perhaps you are not at the point of asking directly. Get to that point. Engage your community. Ask.
I am saying this, and in effect talking to myself. We all need to learn this. Like many people, I have been in a situations that have had me languishing, using up most of my personal resources, and still asking God what is next. Through pride and personality, I have the most difficult time asking anyone for help. I feel personally obliged to pray, but unable to request help from friends and community. God has been teaching me that this is nothing more than self-centered pride mixed with some fear and shame. Gregory the Great, Francis of Assisi, Thomas à Kempis, Teresa of Ávila, Thérèse of Lisieux, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and many others understood that there were layers of truth and disclosure to the human soul and its actions. Their writings expose to us the presumptions we live with and in which we often deceive ourselves from both our real needs and our shadowy pride, which always seeks to hide. But God has been teaching me this- to ask my brother for help is an admission of my engagement, need, and place in a community. Perhaps my reticence to ask reflects my misunderstanding of community, or worse, my rejection of involvement in it.
The point is this- engage your community, ask them for help. Who knows what God has prepared in the heart of a brother, sister or family that is part of the family of your community. Perhaps God has prepared in them a gift of grace for just such a time as this.
But the local church has failed me in the past.
Welcome to planet earth. Yes, it's true. Sometimes the community we turn to is faltering just as much as we are ourselves. They are filled with that one quality that we hope they will accept in us- humanity. Because of this, we are sometimes surprised when our needs are not met or turned aside without what seems like a helping hand. We've all felt this. But the truth is, "the church" isn't a membership club or building found at the nearest major intersection- the church is YOU. And me. The church is each person who calls on the name of Jesus, putting their trust in the God of the Jews, revealed through His son. The biblical writers knew something about the church community. The writer of Hebrews understood that when discouragement and pain are challenging us, it is normal for us to want to withdraw. But look at the instruction they wrote:
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:23-25)
Do you see the point Hebrew's author is acknowledging "hold unswervingly to the hope". Why would you need to hold on to hope? Because, like the first century Christians, we find plenty of challenges in life that can affront our sense of hope and faith. And, like us, it apparently was not unusual for people to get in the habit of giving up meeting together with the body of Christ. Why? Because, like us, the discouragement was isolating and difficult. But the point of the instruction is an exact reversal of that, and the purpose of the meeting together was not just to spur one another one, but to "encourage one another".
We need hope. We need encouragement. And while the church can sometimes be a source of these things at times, we are told that God's purposes for our encouragement are actually found in the community, not in the isolation of the individual believers. Why is this? Part of it is a mystery, but I think that Jesus gives us a hint of the importance of gathering in the book of Matthew:
Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. (Matthew 18:19-20 - emphasis mine)
and
Yet You are holy, O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel. (Psalm 22:3)
According to the Matthew passage something mysterious occurs when we come together ("where two or three gather")- God is there. God is gathered with us. Perhaps, in fact, He is there waiting for us. Similarly, the Psalm 22 verse envisions a habitation of God's presence. Somehow, God is "enthroned upon the praises" of the community. Powerfully, sovereignly, the omniscient God is displayed (however paradoxical that might sound) in that moment, in that activity in which He is glorified.
These scriptures aren't meant to imply that we can manipulate God into "appearing" based on our efforts of praise of having a meeting. But they say something more profound- that God is at the center of our community- in fact, He is waiting for us, perhaps before we get there. He says "there am I with them", and that He is "enthroned upon the praises". Somehow, in God's desires, He has determined to draw us together not only with Himself, but with each other.
He doesn't find it strange, but rather, it seems like it might be His idea. He is at the center of community. Even if a community is faulty and sometimes broken, God is waiting for each member. He comes not to bless the church building or commend the leaders - but rather for His own purposes. To be, in fact, the center of the community itself. So while the church community can be faulty, just as each of its members are, we do find that God has decided to wait for us there. And, if I need help or encouragement, there is no sense of disdain or rejection from God. He waits for us, in the midst of the community.
Final thoughts
Are you afraid to ask for help? I encourage you to reconsider that. Call out to your local church community. Are they perfect? Not a chance. But we have this promise- God is waiting among them. In fact, if it is a community of Christian faith, he is the center of all gathering, the focal heart of our praise and prayers. We gather not because others have the answers, but because at the core of our gathering is the one true Answer- the Alpha and Omega- Jesus Christ.
There are many other issues and considerations for times when we need help, but I want to leave this with just this one point of asking for help from your community. We often splinter and fragment our efforts across so many areas we neglect simply asking the church family for support. I hope this helps some to reconsider that.
Part of the community of Jesus,
Kim Gentes