Most days we live in our comfort. We live in the place that keeps us feeling safe. Questions arise when we are in a place of risk or fear. We are told it's almost "natural" to be afraid when we are placed in weakened situations, locations or relationships. That place of weakness, where we feel the impact of personal pain against our "comfort" world.. We almost strive to run from it.

But the life we have here on earth is not to be spent running from pain. Jesus said of the person seeking Kingdom life, that "he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34) . He even said that anyone who does not do that cannot be a disciple of Jesus (Luke 14:27) . Pain, struggle, bearing the suffering assigned to you, and self denial are part of not only the necessary walk for Christ followers, it is the prescribed path for His disciples.

This isn't the kind of thing where we just wait for bad stuff to happen and then call it, our "cross" to bear. The entire language of Jesus statement is a call to personal ownership in suffering. Suffering is a call, not a repercussion, of your Christian walk. Every portion of the Mark 8 quote is an invocation for the hearer to take action-

• "he must" - being a disciple means you do not have a choice. You must consider, accept, prepare, plan, receive and walk into the suffering Christ calls you to. No man can call you to suffer for Christ, just as no man could assign Jesus his duties on the cross of Calvary. Only God himself can call you towards what He knows to be both painful and perfect for your life and His glory.
• "deny himself" - in taking up Christ's sufferings, you can only do so when you make room out of your own "self" life. To make room for transformation, or even simple obedience to Him, there are things that must be set aside. Your comfort, your wishes, your preferences, your time, your money, your goals, your life. Anything that begins with "your" or "my" must be on the table when we think of denial. If we look at our lives and find something we could not believe we have strength to let go of- those things look like a shining targets to a jealous God. He loves you passionately.
• "take up his cross" - removing things that are "ours" is not the only active movement to be made in our journey. We must move into the sufferings assigned for us. What has Jesus himself ordained for your discipleship, your life. Advance towards them, don't wait for them to drop on you. "Take up" your cross, don't wait for it to crash down on you.
• "follow me" - the journey of self-denial and taking up the cross assigned to us is only possible as we "fix our eyes on Jesus". The writer of Hebrews correctly understood the absolute dependence on having a vision of Christ. The hope and real assurance of following a real God, Jesus, not an arbitrary cosmic master. He understood that following Jesus had to do with both being set on him as our ultimate goal and enduring through the cross assigned to each of us on the journey there.

Hebrews 12 is a clear synopsis for the tension that holds together a life of joy and suffering in the same person following a faithful God:

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)

As a follower, Mark 8:34 is one of the most difficult and hard sayings for me to live. Living is not just understanding and accepting and waiting. Living is pursuing and engaging. We don't "create" our cross or "make" trouble, but we are called to pursue the cross Christ assigns to us.

One of my favorite new songs is called "Sweetly Broken" by Jeremy Riddle. When I get a chance, I will post a link to a audio sample of the song. It speaks well of this paradox of joy and pain at the cross.

His life!
Kim